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Around SBN: Hugh Douglas Admits To Stealing From Jaguars

DBrush ... Helping cheaters take an inch

Historically pocket brushes for golf lived true to their name, they filled your pocket. DBrush changed that when they came up with a brush the size of a quarter, but along with it they gave the inchers a handy new tool for cheating.

Star-divide

Back in 2007, The Green Blazer wrote a piece on the now played-out MySpace, my only blogging outlet at the time, about a subject that most people probably think of but few talk about: Inching. A player inches when a ball is replaced slightly closer to the hole than he or she marked it. 

 

THE WEDGE SHAPE OF THE DBRUSH ENABLES INCHERS TO MARK THEIR BALL EVEN DEEPER AND STILL REPLACE IT SHALLOW

 

 

 

Most inchers put the mark as tightly as possible behind the ball and then replace it with a slight gap between the mark and the ball. If an incher doubles his or her DBrush as a ball mark, the wedge shape has the cheater inching with ease.

Off the course, an inching man is probably more likely to invest in products like natural male enhancement pills and the penis pump than a non-incher.

Probably the most famous case of inching involved Scotsman Lindsay Smith who had his membership suspended from the prestigious Nairn Golf Club after being branded a cheat. Wind of the incident blew into the Green Blazer's cipher when Smith, a one handicap senior bank official, escalated the matter all the way to the high courts of Scotland, and the story began tracking on the internet news sites.

Here's how John Robertson of the Scotsman Newspaper described the incident that got Smith removed: "On the tenth green, Mr. Scott told Mr. Smith he had marked his ball wrongly by placing the marker in front, rather than behind the ball, so that when he replaced the ball it had been closer to the hole than when he lifted it. He alleged that the same thing had happened at the seventh hole. Mr Smith denied the accusations."

 

Who knows, there may have been some club politics involved the suspension. Maybe Smith was disliked by some members of the board, or maybe he was liked too well by their wives. The Scotsman also mentioned, however, that "There had been similar allegations made against him twice in the past." So the club suspended him, and branded the message that Nairn will not be regarded as a place that takes fondly to those that compromise the rules set forth by the R&A. The Court of Session in Edinburgh eventually found nothing wrong with the way the golf club reacted, and the ruling for this extreme case of inching made The Green Blazer as excited as a Scotsman with a plaid tumbler full of Macallan 25.

 

Does inching really make a difference? The wife of a male incher might tell you indeed it does. And it's hard to argue that on some level, a 35 inch putt is easier to hole than a 36 inch putt, assuming the conditions are the same.

 

The Green Blazer would like to urge everyone to give future opponents a stern warning the next time you witness them inching. In a friendly game, give your partner a hard time about an inching incident. Tell him or her Timberland boots might make a person taller but you'd look ridiculous wearing them at a wedding. Then refer them to the amazon.com's Swedish vacuum enhancer pistol.

 

 

FanPosts are written by Waggle Room members. Viewpoints expressed do not necessarily reflect those of WaggleRoom.com, editor, Charles Boyer or any other writer or member.

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I've seen some shenanigans in my time

And seeing someone do this wouldn’t surprise me. If they think one inch is going to help their putting, well, I would suggest they take some lessons, but some people will try anything until you call them out on it.

Me, I like to save ‘em up and call them three or four at a time. Kind of demoralizes a cheater in match play. If it is an honest mistake, that’s not cheating and I will tell the guy “hey, you …” but if it is willful, then you get your just deserts…

by Charles Boyer on Sep 1, 2010 4:00 PM EDT reply actions  

We used to have a guy in a social club who made this scenario look like amateur hour. He used a 50 cent piece – placed it in front of his ball – the replaced the ball in front of the coin. We just laughed because he missed most of his putts anyway – then he’d post low scores and complain that he wasn’t getting all of his strokes in the club championship. (lol) karma’s a bitch sometimes.

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Sep 1, 2010 4:19 PM EDT reply actions  

I know an incher..

One of my companions has a friend who plays with us sometimes. He always does this but it dosen’t stop there. We were in Leeds once playing a muni. And he hit his ball right into the rough. An old man with his dog was looking for balls and found his 50 yards behind where he was looking. (he always thinks he hits it 250 yards) The old man throws him the ball and he hits it from where he was looking ! Divots, bad lies, he always toes out the ball with his club. Why, I ask myself ? He should know that golf is against yourself and he loses everytime. But he’s too think to know that. We laugh about it now, he has a handicap of 18, that’s what he insists he is..he’s not a member of a club..but never breaks 100. He is too embarrassed to get 2 shots a hole, but his ego won’t let him play off 26. So he never competes with us. We usually play Stableford format, he rarely gets 26 points. Does he enjoy the game ? Never. That’s why it is so funny. Cheating ? You bet. But it’s so funny to watch now we say nothing. Different if he won a day out of course. But that won’t happen off 18 handicap. He got a new driver this year after 10 years with an old one. He told me at work, “wait till you see me hit this” ( I have won half a dozen long drives over the years on our days out ) and he hit it into the woods. I’m getting good ant keeping a straight face, lol.

by Easingwold on Sep 2, 2010 7:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well, at least he isn't a sandbagger, I suppose

Why can’t he just play with your group w/o keeping score? Occasionally we are joined by singletons who are better/worse players than us, who just want a round in company, & don’t bother to score – maybe a practice round for a comp. the following day.

by WendyUK on Sep 2, 2010 11:14 AM EDT up reply actions  

Good story on your Blog OMP

I read many over there, but never have time to comment.

That girl wearing the boxing gloves is cute, but those are the wrong size for her.

She needs the 12 or 14oz

"pain is only weakness leaving the body"

by progolf on Sep 2, 2010 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

Because he's a dumb ass male

with an ego that wont let him…and I laugh every time. He’s good to play with in some respects…it makes me see how dumb us men can be.

by Easingwold on Sep 2, 2010 5:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

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