Tiger Woods Rumored to Be New Kirk Van Houten, But Not True

Us Weekly is back again with another Woods rumor! This time, they're saying Tiger's taking his talents to the Big Apple and moving into a Manhattan apartment.

The magazine's source - which could be a seeing eye dog - barked said that Woods was introducing himself to the neighbors. The captain of the SS Privacy doing that? Really now?

To Us' (really should be You or Them, depending) credit, they did give us Jaimee Grubbs, which precipitated this whole cascade of concubines more than the National Enquirer's reporting did. But, just remember, Life & Style supposedly had a doozy about Q-school participants ripping into Tiger last December, and that turned out to be totally untrue.

And that's where healthy skepticism pays off. Here's a little tip: most municipalities and states that don't end in -ina, -ia, or -ana have an online system to track deed information for property sales. New York City has one.

Taking a gander at their records, neither Woods under any name (including Toma) or corporation he is known to use for land purchases has a record of a deed in the system. And it's up to date as of today.

Not sayin', just sayin'. Maybe Steinberg has a pad. There could be a lag.

UPDATE: Multiple reports from CNBC's Darren Rovell and ESPN's Jason Sobel back up our account that this is indeed a myth.

Here's the basis for the Kirk Van Houten reference for you non Simpsons fans.