BREAKING: Ben Roethlisberger Pees on Golf Course Just Like Every Man Alive

by Ryan Ballengee on Jul 13, 2010 3:25 PM EDT in Humor

A hilarious alert came into my inbox this afternoon from the folks at TMZ. EXCLUSIVE! Ben Roethlisberger under investigation for peeing on golf course! Oh no!

I know we have ragged on Big Ben in the past, and he's hardly a likable dude, but peeing in a bush at a golf course is about as much less of a crime than The Onion's heartless Steinbrenner headline today ("George Steinbrenner Dead After Firing Underperforming Heart"). I can't tell you the number of times that I've hopped out of the cart, unzipped, and taken care of business. Lock me up on 100 counts of being a man.

I'll bet Mike Florio never thought that he would be doing Pro Football Talk posts about piss that did not have some kind of steroid test attached to it.

There are plenty of reasons to poke and prod and Roethlisberger - after all, he's been accused of doing that enough times himself - but this is a non-story. And no one ever would have found out about this if Big Ben had just purchased a UroClub like the rest of us.

Excuse me, I gotta go take a leak.

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LOL

What guy hasn’t been in the middle of the course with no bathroom and just used a tree?

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jul 13, 2010 3:27 PM EDT reply actions

Florio is definitely giving this story waaayyyy too much traction.

"It was almost like if Harry didn't call it, it wasn't real." - Jayson Stark
SB Nation

by Chris Haines on Jul 13, 2010 3:31 PM EDT reply actions

Don’t leave out the women ! I’ve played with several who found bushes when there was no other option available.

We had a law suit here in Atlanta a while back where some guy went back into the woods to relieve himself and some loser homeowner called security and the police on him, then sued him for public indecency. Apparently, he could squint really hard from his back yard and see the guy.

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 13, 2010 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

I think Audobon Intl. should step in and encourage such activity…it is just another way to keep golf courses ~~yellow~~ green.

Yet another reason I love golf. No other sport is so conducive to my small bladder.

Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

by mdbrigham on Jul 13, 2010 4:30 PM EDT reply actions

lmao !!

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 13, 2010 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Me too. I've read plenty of small blather, here, not enough

small bladder.

by TXQ on Jul 13, 2010 4:55 PM EDT up reply actions

I was playing in a fourball

and one of my group needed a crap…wiped with his new golf towel and left it in the bush. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

by Easingwold on Jul 13, 2010 4:57 PM EDT reply actions

Slow dow, Easing, you're giving us too much to think about.

by TXQ on Jul 13, 2010 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions

I know a guy in the same situation, but he just ripped off his own underwear and used them. I sh** kid you not.

by Double Eagle on Jul 13, 2010 5:00 PM EDT up reply actions

Newspaper can be a bit rough :)

by Easingwold on Jul 13, 2010 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions

Ease....down on the farm, we

used a Sears catalog….always 2-3 in the 3 holer…In the winter….now that was rough…..STUB

by thinker on Jul 13, 2010 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions

Guilty

Last time out. However, it was in a remote spot and no one was around.

Having worked at a course for a number of years, it still surprises me how many people do it right on a tee and they don’t even bother to turn their back to the cart path or to other players. I’ll just lay this out there – if you want to urinate directly at me in public you run the risk of me flinging my poo at you like a monkey.

by Double Eagle on Jul 13, 2010 4:58 PM EDT reply actions