$750 Million Final Price Tag on Tiger-Elin Divorce
by Ryan Ballengee on Jul 2, 2010 12:11 AM EDT
in Golfiness
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PrintAccording to a report in the always reliable The Sun in the UK, Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods have finalized on divorce terms and will make the split official in Orange County (they say Orlando, which doesn't exist) court in "the next seven days." Elin will receive $750 million in total settlement money.
The Sun claims that Nordegren's lawyers were able to prove Tiger was worth well more than $1 billion. Just last week, Forbes Magazine estimated Woods' net worth at $600 million, down nearly half from an estimate just months prior. So, take that for what it's worth.
Just remember to have a healthy degree of skepticism about this, like we first showed here a week ago (June 25) and suddenly has appeared in a variety of outlets in the last 24 hours or so.
As for the basic details, we have those supposed details (and the hilarious inconsistencies) after the jump.
Here are the key points, according to the Sun.
- Real estate: Elin gets the Windemere house/crash site, which seems kind of weird, but also has some sweet digs on a Swedish island. Tiger gets the Jupiter Island home that never seems to get any closer to being done (probably for a reason: not to lose it in the divorce).
- Kids: Elin gets physical custody, and the pair split legal custody of the kids.
- Tiger's ladyfriends: Tiger cannot bring a lady that's not his second (or third, et al) wife around the kids. I guess that means Kathy Battaglia is out?
- Tell-all?: Completely out for Elin. Even if Tiger's already dead.
With the details out of the way, let's laugh at some of the ridiculous stuff that The Sun claims:
- My biggest question, though, has to be why Elin would want the Windemere house? That'd be like the Flanders moving into that murder house on The Simpsons. Instead of "red room, red room," it'll be something like "black SUV, black SUV."
- Orlando County court? Try Orange County.
- Woods worth more than a billion? Probably not. But, they also don't talk about the holdings that Woods has at various other properties throughout the US and the world.
- "Believed to be building a course in Dubai" is one of my favorite lines because, honestly, I don't think even Tiger knows if that project is still going.
If the report is true, the papers will probably come out in some redacted fashion. And, of course, we'll keep on the look out.
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It must be true - I mean it's The Sun
There must have been lots of pictures – need to leave less room for words.
Listen up everbody...effin
Wendy says it must be true, cause it’s the Sun, rather than the moon….sorry TX….than ya kin take it to the bank…..right Wendy? STUB
"That'd be like the Flanders moving into that murder house on The Simpsons." LOL.
I hate those Flanderses.
she had a really good lawyer ? :-D
Leave it to a tabloid to follow a rumor like this and decide that Elin is getting more than the man’s total worth.
Then again…maybe she’s moving to Texas with George Straight’s ex.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Don't forget Court
everthin is bigger and betten in the gud ol USA a Texas….hahaha…..STUB
Now that was really stretching
a Mil Stream….jist sayin…..STUB
As Mr. Fagin told Oliver Twist: "You've got to
tell a groaner or two."
With the Open fast approaching...
this is the usual ploy by the worst tabloids in the world, here in the UK. It used to be Faldo when he was king, and now it is Tiger’s turn. It will only intensify in order to sell copies I would only use as toilet paper in an emergency.
NAH EASY
Nothing to do with the Open….It’s just better to start the drum beating in the UK, cause our rags here is almost plum wore out, like an old plow horse….and the reason she go the Florida house, is cause all her fond memories are there like the beat down on the Escalade, listening in to the conversation whilst a skank is calling her husband, and finally, it has a built in gas fired grill that the Island house doesn’t have….This is where she can fix the TIGAR STEAKS …She isn’t being mean or vendictive…really….but she has to have some home repair write offs for tax purposes…..NOW…is this all up front money? guaranteed over how many years? suggests an annuity of some sort….Hmmmm!!!! Inquiring minds want to know….OH, and just as an aside….ya know there will be all sorts of DANDY’S swarming around the newly divorced lady to cater to her needs, so if she remarries before a certain time period does that stop the loot from rolling in? We do need more details folks…..STUB
During the Open, tabloids here
seem to mutate into even bigger monsters than they are. It’s a normal thing in Football, the season is almost year round. But in Golf, they do it for the Open and Ryder Cup years. Expect more headlines.
I wonder what would happen
if someone offered her $751mil for a tell-all book and TV talk show tour……..
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
em – read what you wrote and think about it. You just suggested that Oprah turn over almost all of her personal wealth for a book and TV appearance that MIGHT be worth $2 million in book sales.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Except...
…she could probably double that with an afternoon’s work for Hugh Hefner or Larry Flynt, so we’re talking $4 million. Not pocket change.
I almost got all the way through typing that while keeping a straight face, but I LOLed a little at the end.
Court.....the point above was
if all things were equal, would she humiliate him…….a little revenge. Obviously no one is going to give her that kind of money to talk.
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
The thing is...
…she could do that now and still get her customary half of everything. No matter what he’s actually worth, that’s still a boatload.
Frankly, I don’t know why Tiger would pay a premium to shut her up unless she’s got some really, really bad dirt. I mean, how much worse can it get if we actually have an idea of the things that there are to know? Seventeen women or 117 women, does that part make a difference? Where they did it, when they did it? Is that worth hundreds of millions? Specific names?
Certainly, Tiger and company would like to put the tarnish in the rearview mirror and don’t want the wounds to be freshly opened as they continue to try and rebuild his reputation, but I have my doubts about how much damage she could actually do, unless she knows things that we haven’t even dreamed up yet.
What ? You’re saying Tiger married a vindictive woman ? What are the odds ? :-)
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
AW WENDY, I DO LIKE THAT
just shows, that men arn’t the only ones that get changed….WOW, jist shows ta go ya….learn sumthin ever day…..STUB
750,000.00
Ahhhhh, With all of tigers money and a bevy of whatever lawyer he wants and it’s still 750,000.00, to me that spells “Hush Money” on a large scale. There must be a ton of stuff Elin knows if ya ask me. jes sayin
"pain is only weakness leaving the body"
SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND Green backs
Good Lawwwdy Court, Kick me in the ankles why don’t ya. lol j/k It was only two days ago that folks was calling that tabloid fodder. Long ass day, pain in the azzz clients and I do make mistakes. Perhaps I should hire a PR firm to do a public “Sorry” at SAWGRASS.
jes sayin
"pain is only weakness leaving the body"
Jumpn......
You should ask Court why he puts a space before his question marks. I knew what you meant…..what’s a few zero’s among friends…..:)
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
Extending an expressive hand jesture to you both !! :-D
He typed it twice – I just wanted to know if he was making a point that $750k would be enough.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Still want to know
whatzzz up with the space before the question mark……some kind of “signature” Court only deal????……and a happy Friday salute to you too……:)
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
esthetics. I do it with exclamation points when I type, too. Just don’t like putting the big punctuation marks next to letters.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Your English teacher would hit you on
the back of your hand with a ruler…….Bad Court, Bad!
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
Could you please
publish the Courtgolf “rules of punctuation”…….esthetically pleasing or not. Also, when did typing have anything to do with the rules of punctuation ? punctuation? :)
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
Ok, Ok, forget the punctuation stuff.....
It could be worse…..we could all be Al Gore…..doesn’t he know that “rubbing” up against your masseuse causes heat and then contributes to that Global Warming thing…….what a moron.
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
Gawwd that woman Masseuse
Looked like she got hit in the face with a bag full of quarters.
ewwwwwwwwww shame on you Al
"pain is only weakness leaving the body"
Jumpn......come on cut Al some slack.....
you know Tiger had all the “hotties” under contract…….doesn’t leave much for ole Al to rub against, besides, she’s probably a very nice lady.
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
Oh, one other thing.......
when she gets through with Al, she’ll look like she got hit in the face with a bag of million dollar bills……..show me the money!
The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!
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