THE PLAYERS OPEN THREAD, ROUND 1 (ALL CAPS ONLY)

by Ryan Ballengee on May 6, 2010 11:53 AM EDT in Pro Golf

SINCE I HAVE TO MAKE THIS JOKE AT LEAST ONCE PER YEAR (IT'S IN MY CONTRACT WITH SB NATION), THE OPEN THREAD FOR ROUND ONE OF THE PLAYERS CHAMPIONSHIP IS PRESENTED IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

I WILL DELETE ANY COMMENTS THAT ARE NOT IN CAPS, SO IT'S GOING TO LOOK LIKE WE'RE JUST YELLING AT EACH OTHER ABOUT THE FIFTH MAJOR. BUT WE'RE NOT.

11:52 AM: TIGER TEES OFF AT 1:23PM. PHIL IS SITTING AT -1. THE LEAD SITS AT -5 (WITH BEN CRANE. IF HE GETS TO THE FINAL GROUP ON SUNDAY, YOU CAN EXPECT THE SLOWEST FINAL PAIRING IN PLAYERS HISTORY.

1:35 PM: MICKELSON TOLD STEVE SANDS (MARYLAND ALUM, EMAIL ME, STEVE, WE HAVE A LOT TO DISCUSS) THAT HE HAD "NOTHING" TODAY AND STILL MANAGED -2 (70). LOOKING FOR A 66 TOMORROW.

3:00 PM: OMG! THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE WAS DOWN ABOUT 1000 POINTS OVER 10 MINUTES AGO. IT'S DOWN 400 NOW. THANKS, GREECE. HOLMES STILL LEADS ON -6, BUT BOHN, DONALD, SLOCUM, AND CRANE ARE -5. THE BEST ROUNDS ON THE COURSE ARE AT -4 RIGHT NOW.

4:28 PM: DAVIS LOVE III - 2003 CHAMPION - IS LIGHTING UP THE STADIUM COURSE RIGHT NOW. HE'S ON -6. TIGER JUST BIRDIED 11 TO GET TO -2.

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STOP YELLING AT ME!

MY EARS ARE RINGING!

CAN’T WAIT TO CATCH THE FINAL ROUND ON SUNDAY! I DON"T HAVE ANYTHING USEFUL TO ADD BECAUSE I’M JUST YELLING IRRATIONALLY! I DO HOPE TIGER DOESN’T EMBARRASS HIMSELF THIS WEEK AGAIN THOUGH!

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO TYPE PUNCTUATION IN ALL CAPS?! SHOULD I JUST USE EXCLAMATION POINTS EVERYWHERE?! I DON’T WANT MY MEANINGFUL COMMENT TO BE DELETED!

by Double Eagle on May 6, 2010 12:02 PM EDT reply actions

J.B. HOLMES AND BEN CRANE ARE CO-LEADERS AT THIS POINT.

IF THAT BECOMES THE FINAL PAIRING, WON’T IT INTERFERE WITH THE MASTERS COVERAGE?

by TXQ on May 6, 2010 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

I JUST HAVE TO SAY THIS....

I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING A LAID BACK LIFE STYLE THE PAST FEW WEEKS, AND I WAS GONNA TAKE CRANE IN MY FANTASY… YUP, YUR RIGHT…I DIDN’T….DAMMM!!!….STUB

by thinker on May 6, 2010 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions

CMON RORY !!!

by Easingwold on May 6, 2010 1:32 PM EDT reply actions

SLOW DOWN EASY,,

YUR RORRY!!!!….STUB

by thinker on May 6, 2010 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions

WOULD I BE BANNED IF I USE LOWERCASE?? ;-)

by sabre74kkn on May 6, 2010 3:49 PM EDT reply actions

NO, YOUR COMMENT WOULD JUST BE DELETED :)

Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroom, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.

by Ryan Ballengee on May 6, 2010 4:28 PM EDT up reply actions

HEY - KEEP THE NOISE DOWN

OR I’LL GET ASBOS FOR THE LOT OF YOU. C’MON LUKE!

by WendyUK on May 6, 2010 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

YOU YELLING AT ME ?

OOPS :)

by Easingwold on May 6, 2010 5:30 PM EDT reply actions

HOW ABOUT THAT TEE SHOT BY WOODS AT #8 – SLINGING A BIG HOOK JUST UNDER THE FLAGSTICK.

PRETTY GOOD LEADERBOARD AT 5:40 WITH ALLENBY ON TOP AND SIX GUYS WITH GEORGIA TIES IN THE TOP 10 ! (JASON BOHN, DL III, RYUJI IMADA, MATT KUCHAR, TROY MATTESON, AND HEATH SLOCUM) :-)

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on May 6, 2010 5:41 PM EDT reply actions

BY TIES, DO YOU MEAN

THEY WAS ALL GAWGA DOWGS? OR WAS THEY JIST PASSIN THROUGH ON THE WAY TO BAMMA?…STUB

by thinker on May 6, 2010 6:06 PM EDT up reply actions

LOL – BOHN WAS AT ’BAMA AND LIVES JUST NORTH OF ATLANTA….MATTESON AND KUCHAR WENT TO GA TECH…DL III LIVES DOWN ON SEA ISLAND…IMADA WAS A DAWG…AND SLOCUM LIVES IN ANOTHER BURB NORTH OF ATLANTA AS DOES MATTESON

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on May 6, 2010 7:19 PM EDT up reply actions

CAN'T HEAR YOU - SPEAK UP1

by WendyUK on May 6, 2010 6:02 PM EDT reply actions

I JUST READ ALL 20 COMMENTS AND NOW

I HAVE A FREAKIN’ HEADACHE!!!!!!!! HEY RYAN, I’LL HAVE MY ATTORNEY GIVE YOU A CALL……..I THINK I NOW HAVE TINNITUS…..WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT??? OH, CRAP, I GIVE UP………………………………

The Saints ARE the SUPER BOWL CHAMPS....WHO DAT!

by em66 on May 6, 2010 6:19 PM EDT reply actions

LOOKS LIKE TIGER MANAGED TO HAVE A RESPECTABLE FINISH DESPITE SOME TROUBLES. I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE HIM TO REGAIN HIS PRIOR FORM. SEEMS LIKE HE WAS RIDING THE HIGH OF RETURNING TO COMPETITION AT THE MASTERS AND NOW MAYBE HIS APPARENTLY DECLINING HOME LIFE SITUATION (IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?) MIGHT BE TAKING ITS TOLL.

I FEEL LIKE I’M AT A REALLY LOUD PARTY AND AM TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION OVER TOP OF THE BACKGROUND NOISE.

by Double Eagle on May 7, 2010 9:33 AM EDT reply actions

HE HAD A BOGIE AT 18 – NOT THE MOST SOLID FINISH – BUT IT WAS A SOLID ROUND…NOT SO MUCH TO START ROUND 2. HE ALREADY HAS A BOGEY ON 9 (HIS FIRST HOLD) FOLLOWED BY BACK TO BACK BIRDIES…THEN A DOUBLE BOGEY.

SOMEONE HAS PUT PHIL MICKELSON’S BRAIN INTO TIGER WOODS’ BODY ! :-)

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on May 7, 2010 9:49 AM EDT up reply actions