Mark Hayes of the Melbourne Herald Sun out of Australia becomes the first journalist to just up and decide when Tiger Woods is definitively returning.  He says in a piece that Woods shocking return will be in two weeks at the Accenture Match Play Championship.

The article is so poorly written, it's actually hilarious to read.

For one, this was probably just made up because Tiger returned from knee surgery at this event last season.  So, of course, that is cited as evidence that he would come back here also.

Then, since Accenture is the title sponsor and they dropped Woods, it would only be fitting for him to return at their event.

Further, Woods has won the Match Play on three occasions.  Then again, he's won Bay Hill on six different occasions, four times in a row at one point, and each of the last two years.  So rule that event out.

Those aren't even the funniest parts, though.

Hayes says that, "As a matchplay event, it's more for the purists than perhaps a 'regular' tour event would be, diminishing his chances of being harassed."

If by that he means that attendance is generally low, he may be right.  But when Woods is playing, media and attendees can attest that pretty much every hole on the course is evacuated of fans except the one Woods is on at any moment.

The best part is that Hayes doesn't know what "match play" means as evidenced by this reason:

"[I]f he was to play badly in round one, he could "disappear" again rather than sit in the glare of the media spotlight until the mid-tournament cut."

Were Woods to return and lose in the first round (or second like he did last year to Tim Clark), then he would just leave Arizona.  It would be over for him.  One and done.  Way to do some reporting on that, mate.

While we're at it, I could add that since Phil Mickelson and his wedges won't be attending Accenture, then Woods can be the center of attention!

In other words, Hayes made up a whole bunch of stuff, didn't even cite an "anonymous" source like the celeb websites would do, and then the New York Post picked it up for their front page.

And if it just so happens that Woods does return in two weeks, then I still won't give props to this guy.