Tiger Woods (Story) is Officially Dead (For Now)
by Ryan Ballengee on Jan 5, 2010 10:42 AM EST
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After the media went into a tizzy over Elin Nordegren supposedly partying it up over her forthcoming $300 million divorce settlement, Sports by Brooks pointed out to them that Elin wasn't even there. It was her twin sister, which is going to be really convenient for Elin for some time to come.
Though Brooks was first, he got zero credit from TMZ or Access Hollywood, both who have a track record of never citing sources from where they steal information. They would prefer you to believe that they did the work. (Aside: this is why TMZ Sports is NOT like Deadspin or SbB. Bloggers are like the Masonic Order. We look out for our members, have a solemn vow of brotherhood, and practice demonic ritual exercises involving the drinking of blood.)
Then, TMZ just went ahead and made up that Tiger Woods is in New York, staying at Trump International. Considering that Woods has not been seen anywhere since November 22 and building owner Donald Trump hasn't been in hiding since 1978, that seems implausible. You wonder why there's no photos? Someone must've read Wei Under Par and thought one of his planes that flew to NYC was carrying him. Maybe not.
After they figured out that probably wasn't true, they said that Tiger might be in Africa. Cause that would be an ironic twist since he proposed to Elin in South Africa. If anything, he's in Dubai, like I predicted weeks ago. He has a mansion there that's not accessible by anyone.
On the Where is Carmen Sandiego? front, let's consider this story in hibernation.
And perhaps worst of all, now Tiger Woods is being pegged to star in The Shawshank Redemption 2.
via Wei Under Par (cause I'm lazy)
Honestly, Tim Robbins did a better job. And he needs something to occupy his time since Susan Sarandon left him.
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how about that – 7 paragraphs on a “dead” story.
I thought Vanity Fair did a pretty good job matching skin tones after using my body shot to put Tiger’s head on. (bwaaaaahahahaaa) :-)
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Court......I thought I was going to beat you to
make the first post, but yours appeared as I was pushing the post button……..lol
Saints are killing me!!!!!!!!
The paragraphs were all about how the story died :) An obit if you will
Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.
by Ryan Ballengee on Jan 5, 2010 11:22 AM EST up reply actions
hmmmm
but the story isn’t dead by a long shot…at least a good 3 iron….this will be back when Tiger is seen in public again and when he tees it up.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Yup, I agree. But it’s done until Tiger actually does something in public view.
Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.
by Ryan Ballengee on Jan 5, 2010 11:40 AM EST up reply actions
Actually, Tiger is staying at my house.
He helped me write the TGC 2010 article………ping….he thought it was funny…..lol
Saints are killing me!!!!!!!!
Just like Mark Twain said, the reports of the death of the TW story have been greatly exaggerated. The gossip rags (TMZ, Hollywood Gossip, Vivid, et al.) are reporting today that a woman is shopping a TW sex tape recorded about 2 years ago.
Glad Christmas is over.......that tape
would have made the wish lists of suck-ups and haters alike……hope it’s not true. Surely he wasn’t that dumb, but of course we all know he is that egotistical……argggggg
Saints are killing me!!!!!!!!
just heard that on the Colin Cowherd Show on ESPN (which also reminded me why I don’t listen to Cowherd and it got turned off again) – he was really excited about the idea of seeing Tiger Woods having sex. (revive the “things that make you go hmmm” theme music, please)
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Not Dead, In Fact, Probably About To Fire Up AGAIN
No, the PGA Tour kicks off this week and that will give the scribes and scribblers a chance to kick the story once again because Woods won’t be playing.
Then there are those sex tape allegations. Yawn.
Meanwhile, Woods hides away in an undisclosed location, hoping no doubt it will go away. He’ll come back eventually, and I for one am going to get every bit of amusement from him being heckled by people in the gallery. Normally I think stuff like that is BS, but Woods brought it on himself and now the galleries won’t be quite as adoring of him.
I can hear it now...
…“Johnny, he’s driven his ball into the bunker on the left, he’ll have a tough time getting up and down….which reminds me, we haven’t brought up Tiger Woods in the last 30 seconds…”
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Honestly, we’ll get a whole lot of nothing from the PGA Tour and the players this week. They can’t bash the (perceived) meal ticket.
Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.
by Ryan Ballengee on Jan 5, 2010 11:41 AM EST up reply actions
and you think that’s going to stop the people covering the tournament ?
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Definitely not, but the scribes won’t get answers.
Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.
by Ryan Ballengee on Jan 5, 2010 11:54 AM EST up reply actions
which is where...
…the Biff Barf’s of the media world come in….“I call it like I see it – and if I don’t see it – I make it up !”
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Tiger always skips the Hawaii tournaments. Tiger not playing is not news until Torrey Pines..
Truth has a well-known liberal bias.
You got it
Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.
by Ryan Ballengee on Jan 5, 2010 4:10 PM EST up reply actions
and beyond
"The game is swell when it's played well."
by Fairways and Grins on Jan 5, 2010 10:04 PM EST up reply actions
DANG,
you guys all got night jobs or sumthin…Now EM…I just have to ask this since you opened the door (so to speak) Is he putting the move on ya? hah? and as regards the sister, any inkling if he tried to do her too???…NIB..was that the sister who had the tape…See if you can get me one at a discount…As for the report that he was staying at the Donalds, we know that isn’t true, cause than he and The Hair piece would fight over the HOs…I from a personal encounter have for a long time thought he to be a real P***k, but have had to admire his skills..dang, that hurt to admit that…well, stay tuned, cause this is more BS in progress…STUB
No night job......but I do lay awake at
night thinking of things to say that would be offensive to Ping and F’s and G’s……..go figure!….lol lol
Saints are killing me!!!!!!!!
And i thought.....
you’d been on the defensive lately…..I’ll have to try harder…….lol.
"The game is swell when it's played well."
by Fairways and Grins on Jan 5, 2010 1:56 PM EST up reply actions
Dead Story? Like a cat with nine lives!
The Vanity Fair cover was big talk on MSNBC this morning. The word used several times, “menacing”. What we are seeing here is a calulated evolution of a character, the same way female child actresses make the trasition into adult roles, Tiger Woods is changing his image from man-child to full time grown-up. I would guess the majority of us posting here regularly are 55+. This kind of image is downright shocking. Do you remember when Hulk Hogan went over to “The Dark Side”? It’s something like that. Like everything he’s done, we’ve NEVER seen something like this. We are from the “wear a collared shirt on the golf course” era. It may very well be for professional golf to be competitive in an entertainment sports time that includes MMA, Ultimate Fighting and every sport with the adjective “extreme” attached to it. It would be my guess that Tiger’s on course and now off course behavior is not nearly as offensive to the 18-35 demographic as it is to us. We are not the future of professional golf, gents. It could be the next wave will have more than one body piercing….
That hat looks familiar......
Hate to say it, but it looks like something from the O.J. collection, and this time it fits.
"The game is swell when it's played well."
by Fairways and Grins on Jan 5, 2010 1:54 PM EST reply actions
Rumor of the day….
“On Wednesday, Us Weekly reported that the still-married golfer is staying with billionaire Jim Dolan, the CEO of Cablevision and owner of Madison Square Garden and the New York Knicks.”
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