Other People The PGA Tour Should Fine Besides Tiger
by Ryan Ballengee on Aug 11, 2009 11:39 AM EDT
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PrintAs is being reported everywhere, but first by the Associated Press, Tiger was or will be fined by his friends down in Ponte Vedra at the PGA Tour. He's getting fined for throwing Euro Tour rules official under the bus after the Bridgestone Invitational. I guess criticizing Tour officials is against regulations set forth in a player handbook.
UPDATE: Whoops. Tiger is saying that he was not and will not be fined by the Tour. The Shadow Commissioner speaks! Anyway, the post is still funny, so keep reading.
Since the PGA Tour doesn't disclose fines, I can only venture to guess that Woods will be eating one less gold leaf-laced peanut butter & jelly & banana sandwich. Seems to me, though, that a whole lot of other people deserve fines more than Tiger does for speaking his mind. If I might, let me make a few suggestions.
If Phil Mickelson shows up at the PGA Championship in his finest The Original Kings of Comedy slacks, that's a fine. After he has those Waffle Houses for a year, there's no chance that he will fit into those anymore.
Fine Retief Goosen for consistently blowing 54 hole leads this season. Yeah, the loss hurts the checking account enough, but if he had actually won a few more times, then we might be talking about a resurgent rival for Tiger.
Dock Ernie Els for totally whiffing on his three year plan to catch Tiger Woods. When business develop plans that fail, they usually pay the CEO even more money with the Golden Parachute. Golf should set an example and fine a guy for making a plan & not sticking to it.
Someone needs to financially dis-incentivize Charley Hoffman's hair. Good Lord. If Monty Burns fined Don Mattingly for his sideburns, then Tim Finchem should fine Charley for that do.
Personally, I would fine Steve Marino until he wins a PGA Tour event. That's only because me picking him every week in fantasy golf doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
If you could fine anyone on the PGA Tour - for any reason, no matter how arbitrary - who would you fine and why?
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Another nail in the coffin of the weasly Dougie Ferguson. I despise these “journalists” who play the annonimity game in order to get someone to say something they aren’t supposed to say.
Find the “official” and hand him his walking papers.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
I wouldn’t blame Doug on this one. The fine was going to happen – saw it from a mile away.
Email me any comments or questions at ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com.
by Ryan Ballengee on Aug 11, 2009 11:53 AM EDT up reply actions
Heh.
Fine Sergio Garcia for frequent post-round interview douchebaggery.
Fine Angel Cabrerra for a little known rule that prohibits “lumbering down fairways.”
Fine all players with a “III” behind their names on general principle.
Fine David Duval for getting my hopes up at Bethpage.
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." - Winston Churchill
by turnover on Aug 11, 2009 12:06 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
lol – I wonder if Garcia was fined for his comments about the flagsticks being against him.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Can’t blame him for that. Flagsticks are well known to be conspiratorial. I have a feeling that Oliver Stone is working on a film exposing flagstick involvement in the Kennedy assassination as we speak.
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." - Winston Churchill
From today's press conferences...
Woods said a report saying he had been fined for his comments about the rules officials was not true; although PGA Tour officials never announce fines and rarely comment on them, vice president Ty Votaw confirmed that Woods has not been fined.
“There has been no process started with respect to any disciplinary action,” Votaw said. “The commissioner [Tim Finchem] was surprised when he read the article. Based on the reports he read, Tiger’s comments related to the impact of the [rules] decision and we did not read them as being an unreasonable attack or disparaging.”
SO – let’s all send a collective “kiss my a$$” to Dougie Ferguson for getting yet another story wrong…OR…at the very least getting some weanie in the PGA Tour offices in trouble for speaking out of turn.
"this ball will fit in that fairway"
Yeah, someone’s definitely getting fired now that Tiger debunked it.
Email me any comments or questions at ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com.
by Ryan Ballengee on Aug 11, 2009 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions
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