As is being reported everywhere, but first by the Associated Press, Tiger was or will be fined by his friends down in Ponte Vedra at the PGA Tour.  He's getting fined for throwing Euro Tour rules official under the bus after the Bridgestone Invitational.  I guess criticizing Tour officials is against regulations set forth in a player handbook.

UPDATE: Whoops.  Tiger is saying that he was not and will not be fined by the Tour.  The Shadow Commissioner speaks!  Anyway, the post is still funny, so keep reading.

Since the PGA Tour doesn't disclose fines, I can only venture to guess that Woods will be eating one less gold leaf-laced peanut butter & jelly & banana sandwich.  Seems to me, though, that a whole lot of other people deserve fines more than Tiger does for speaking his mind.  If I might, let me make a few suggestions.

If Phil Mickelson shows up at the PGA Championship in his finest The Original Kings of Comedy slacks, that's a fine.  After he has those Waffle Houses for a year, there's no chance that he will fit into those anymore.

Fine Retief Goosen for consistently blowing 54 hole leads this season.  Yeah, the loss hurts the checking account enough, but if he had actually won a few more times, then we might be talking about a resurgent rival for Tiger.

Dock Ernie Els for totally whiffing on his three year plan to catch Tiger Woods.  When business develop plans that fail, they usually pay the CEO even more money with the Golden Parachute.  Golf should set an example and fine a guy for making a plan & not sticking to it.

Someone needs to financially dis-incentivize Charley Hoffman's hair.  Good Lord.  If Monty Burns fined Don Mattingly for his sideburns, then Tim Finchem should fine Charley for that do.

Personally, I would fine Steve Marino until he wins a PGA Tour event.  That's only because me picking him every week in fantasy golf doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

If you could fine anyone on the PGA Tour - for any reason, no matter how arbitrary - who would you fine and why?