Mini-Golf World Champion: I Could Crush Tiger Woods

by Ryan Ballengee on Jul 23, 2009 12:21 AM EDT Comment 17 comments

Lots of people - myself included - are speculating about the state of Tiger Woods' game after his missed cut at Turnberry. Is it Haney? Is his knee not yet healthy? Does the guy just need more time? Who knows.

Well, apparently Tim Davies is willing to kick Tiger when he is down. He's the world champion in "crazy golf" - also known to millions of children across the USA as mini-golf. And, as he tells CNN, he thinks he could kick Tiger Woods' ass in mini-golf.

"Tiger Woods is a pretty good putter, but put him on a crazy golf course against me and he wouldn't stand a chance. Put quite simply, I'd thrash him.

"His people haven't been in touch with me yet but he knows where I am when he's ready to take up the offer of the match so bring it on."

Show yourself, Tiger! Why are you dodging the world champion of mini-golf? Why are you temporarily abandoning your quest for golf immortality to answer Tim Davies' challenge? Answer me!

Perhaps it is because mini-golf is sport that is often just a ploy for teenage boys to stand closely behind their dates while they putt.

This is the REAL point of mini-golf.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that mini-golf is basically normal putting with the golf equivalent of bowling bumpers.

Either way, I'd like to urge Tim to not stay up too late waiting for Tiger's people at IMG to call. Mark Steinberg is too busy making multi-million dollar deals in Boston. And Tiger is too busy raising his two kids with his supermodel wife.

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You could be right – Tiger’s game might not be up to the challenge and he’s ducking the putt putt champ ! (lol)

OR – he’s concerned about having to deal with all the bumpers and obstacles – the doctors told him to be careful with the knee, you know.

hey – miniature golf may be “bowling with bumpers”, but there are definitely geometric aspects that you don’t have on a golf course green…not to mention that pesky windmill !! :-)

Next trip down to Disneyworld, check out Fantasia Golf behind the Dolphin and …. whatever the hotel is. No bumpers and a LOT of undulations. Toughest miniature golf course I’ve ever played. It’s a blast.

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 23, 2009 9:35 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Mini-Golf World Champion: I Could Crush Tiger Woods

A quote from Nutters with Putters http://www.nutterswithputters.com

“Golf/minigolf borne of the same pod, one seed found rough ground, developed brown field sites and flourished. Another took huge swathes of unspoilt countryside, diverted streams, introduced non-native species driving out native flora and fauna, created a huge strain on available water supplies, encouraged further housing development on the periphery and used so many cides – herbi, vermi, pesti they could be polyhedrons. One developed a culture of exclusion the other perfect integration. One, hours of singular frustration. The other, hours of family fun.”

Crazy Golf pioneered artificial sports surfaces, outdoor lighting for sports events, was the forerunner of the Family Entertainment Centre and is an indelible part of everyones fondest seaside memories.

So let me ask you, what is the REAL point of golf?

And believe it. I would crush Tiger.

by crazygolfworldchamp on Jul 23, 2009 12:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

The point of the post wasn’t to turn this into a debate about which is better. I love mini-golf. I routinely take money from my friends playing mini-golf. It’s a great time. But comparing the two activities is a non-starter. They’re nothing alike. Golf is a more comprehensive challenge than minigolf ever could expect to be. And that’s not a slam on mini-golf. It’s just a different, more centralized skill set.

The debate about golf’s poor environmental stewardship isn’t one I would have with you just because I agree with you. Golf has done a very poor job in that regard in a lot of areas – though that is finally beginning to change.

Are you saying you would crush Tiger in minigolf or golf? Or both?

Email me any comments or questions at ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com.

by Ryan Ballengee on Jul 23, 2009 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Aside from the ignorance of that tired, inaccurate cliche in that quote – I would LOVE to see Tiger have a little fun and do something like this.

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 23, 2009 2:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think it would be hilarious to see. I mean, the guy has a sense of humor – walking on water, interviewing himself. Why not a mini golf challenge?

Email me any comments or questions at ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com.

by Ryan Ballengee on Jul 23, 2009 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That’d be crazy golf! He’s a God of Golf as I am a God of Crazy Golf.
Why not indeed!?!

I was merely pointing out that golf should have as much difficulty justifying itself.

As for “a more comprehensive challenge than minigolf ever could expect to be.” I think you’ve missed the point. MENTAL. As I am.

by crazygolfworldchamp on Jul 23, 2009 3:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Golf is a bigger mental challenge in my mind. I only say that because you have to execute a wider variety of shots. The shots in crazy/mini golf have different subtleties to them – geometric properties, physics, etc.

Email me any comments or questions at ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com.

by Ryan Ballengee on Jul 23, 2009 3:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

don’t forget the pure time factor – concentrating for 4 1/2 to 6 hours on the golf course is a lot more than 30-60 minutes on the minigolf course.

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 23, 2009 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Did he just say he was "mental" ? (I must say) :-)

yes – Tiger Woods – that “mental midget” of golf – no concentration whatsoever. :-)

Now I’m wondering what you’d be playing for. $100,000 ? Keys to a 1987 Toyota pickup ?

Neutral course ? If not, how many practice rounds do you give Woods since you would be familiar with the course and he isn’t ?

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 23, 2009 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I play up to four competitive rounds in a competition day plus praccy, we’re talking 8 hours – and if you’re playing with Keith Kellard it’s a helluva lot longer than that!

It’s more concise, those strolls along the fairways just don’t happen. How long does he really concentrate for?

Money or pride? Euros or Ego?

Neutral is fine and he can have as many as he likes.

by crazygolfworldchamp on Jul 23, 2009 3:26 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

How long does a competitive round take ? Sounds like slow play is a problem in your game, too, with the mention of Kellard.

Trust me – in a tournament, Woods is in game mode from the time he steps out of the clubhouse until he finishes at 18….past that if he isn’t happy with his round and goes to spend a couple of extra hours on the range.

Pretty sure Tiger has the edge in cash.

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Jul 23, 2009 3:31 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs