Sorry, but some of these 'Tiger-isms' are pretty decent

by One-Eyed Golfer Guy on Dec 7, 2009 7:03 AM EST

Apparently, the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said, “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 6.”

What club did Elin use to beat Tiger with? A bitching wedge.

If the only person that can beat Tiger is a blonde with big breasts, maybe it’s time to get John Daly back on the tour.

What’s the difference between an SUV and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball at least 300 yards.

What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing

Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between an iron and an wood.

Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.

What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway.

What’s the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.

It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.

Why was Tiger’s wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia.

What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.

Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.

And my favorite......What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

FanPosts are written by Waggle Room members. Viewpoints expressed do not necessarily reflect those of WaggleRoom.com, editor, Charles Boyer or any other writer or member.

Tweet Comment 2 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I like them all.

by ryansdad on Dec 7, 2009 3:28 PM EST reply actions

Other ones for PGA savvies.

-If Jim Furyk was caught doing the same thing as Tiger, do you think his wife would swing the club waaaay above the swing plane before slamming it on the car window?

-Would TC Chen’s wife hit the window twice in one swing?

-Would Paul Casey’s wife try to hit the window, only to miss way off to the right?

-What does Al Geiberger call Tiger Woods? Mr. 69

-Do you think Elin got tips from Angel Cabrera on how to beat Tiger?

-When I heard Woods was the 10-time PGA “Player” of the Year, I thought it meant his golf game.

-What do you call it when Woods cheats on his wife with four women? A Grand Slam.

-What do you call it when Woods cheats on his wife with four women while the Times Square ball drops? A Tiger Slam – because it’s not in the same calendar year.

-Which magazine should have the Elin Nordegren exclusive? Tiger Beat

-Finally, from the Iowa SB Nation page, a post that makes me understand why Woods skips the Shell Houston Open.

by Cairo on Dec 7, 2009 3:57 PM EST reply actions