Tiger Woods is America's New Bill Clinton

In the span of twelve hours today, Tiger Woods went from being Andy Griffith to being former President Bill Clinton.

The rumor printed by the National Enquirer of an affair between the world's number one golfer and New York City club manager Rachel Uchitel seemed innocent enough - as far as these things go.  The report seemed to come out of nowhere on Wednesday.  Rumors and whispers and insinuations have made their way into conversations about Woods over the course of his career, but the timing of the Enquirer report just seemed so bizarre.

Then the car accident happened.  Instantly, a lot of conclusions were reached that the accident and the rumor were somehow related.  True or not, the connection was already made.  Still, though, there was only one person on the planet that had been publicly accused of being the "other woman" in an affair with Woods.

Now, on Wednesday morning, there is another woman who is saying she had an affair with Woods.  And she isn't shying away from it like Uchitel has with her denials.  Jaimee Grubbs, 24, claims to have had a 31 month affair with Woods and says she has proof of the affair.  US Weekly is claiming that it will release that information today.

Further, other rumor sites are reporting that even more women are planning to claim they, too, have had affairs with Tiger Woods - assuming that the price is right to share the details that will assuredly stain their lives.

Doesn't this sound familiar?

For President Bill Clinton, the rumor mill about his dipping in the extramarital well started before he was even elected to office.  Remember Gennifer Flowers?  She came forward during Clinton's 1992 Presidential campaign.  After Clinton denied her claims, Flowers produced an audio tape of the affair and played it for the world to hear.  She called Clinton's bluff. 

As reward for having slept with the most powerful man in the world, Flowers profited to the tune of some $500,000.  She later appeared in Penthouse magazine.

It was just the tip of the iceberg for Clinton.  The Clinton Hall of Fame includes names like Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Juanita Braoddrick, and others.  Some, like Jones, won monetary damages from Clinton.  Others' claims never saw the light of day.

But of course, how could we forget Monica Lewinsky.  After months of confiding in co-worker Linda Tripp about the affair - and asking Tripp to cover it up to special prosector Ken Starr - the relationship was outed.  After being granted immunity, Lewsinky produced her smoking gun: the infamous blue, semen-stained dress.  President Clinton had no recourse but to admit to the affair in a taped grand jury testimony.

If you replace "former President Bill Clinton" with "golf ultrastar Tiger Woods," it's not hard to finish the Mad Lib of truth and lies that appears to be on the verge of being set into motion.

For her part, Rachel Uchitel has denied any relationship with Woods in many outlets.  Her job in the New York City club scene is way too reliant upon her ability to remain on the down low.  Her financial security for the future requires her to have a job - not a blockbuster payday from a hypothetical tell-all.

But Jaimee Grubbs - and the reported "string of others" - are willing to take the brief payday and the 15 minutes of fame to plant their stake in the ground.  Grubbs claims her smoking gun is like that of Gennifer Flowers: a recorded voicemail from Woods to her.

Fortunately, there appears to be no Woods equivalent to that blue dress.  The golfing public might never think of their equipment in the same way.

Like Clinton, the self-proclaimed accomplices in these alleged Woods affairs are coming out well after the fact.  What remains to be seen is the impact on Tiger Woods after all of these allegations are sorted out.  The Tiger machine is powerful, efficient, and flawless - at least to this point.  Tiger has not reportedly become sport's first billionaire by mistake.  His image is peerless, in part, because the details are so well guarded. 

And rightfully so.  It is any individual's right to determine how much they put themselves into the public spotlight.  Millions of people are interested in getting more from Woods concerning his personality, habits, or political views.  They don't get that from him.  Instead, they get Khloe Kardashian's fake tan.  Now, with an opportunity to see some glimmer of detail into Woods' life - good or bad - a lot of people seem captivated.  Otherwise, magazines like the National Enquirer would not exist.  They know their audience.

Bill Clinton knows about the demonizing power of a media pool armed with irrefutable facts.  Clinton also knows that he is still largely viewed as one of this nation's greatest Presidents and leaders.  Even with all of the infidelity to Hillary, plenty of Americans side with Slick Willy.  They can see why he did it.  It was there.  And he's married to Hillary.

The same will happen for Woods if these allegations are true or not.  Tiger Woods is loved because he is a phenomenal, once-in-a-lifetime athlete.  It's not because his life is an open book.  So, if Woods' locksafe is open for just a little while, what are the odds that people will love him any less for something that (a) they didn't care about and (b) is none of their business?  Probably low.

President Clinton was recently with Tiger Woods at the Presidents Cup at Harding Park in October.  This topic probably did not come up in any conversation that they may have had.  If it did, though, Clinton and Woods could really level with one another. 

They are both worldwide celebrities.  They are both incredibly powerful today and have had historic careers. 

A lot of light is made of their races.  Clinton has sometimes been jokingly referred to as the first African-American President.  Tiger has called himself a mix of races.  That ambiguity created so much intrigue that on Dave Chappelle's comedy show Woods was drafted into the African-American race in a sketch. 

And they both have literally thousands of women throwing themselves at them every single day.

In an eerily timely story, Golf Digest released to the media an article for its January issue that shares the ten things that the current President (and the real first African-American to hold the office) could learn from Tiger Woods - and vice versa.  Mark Whitaker suggests in the article that Tiger could learn from President Obama to show more warmth and be less of a robot.

Frankly, Woods should learn that lesson from President Clinton, and it would be particularly applicable to this situation.

The Clinton Method for handling the throng of women that claimed to have an affair with him was deny, deny, deny.  Then when denying did not work, he would meekly admit it with a wink and a nod to the public - and with a full briefcase in private.  And while it seemed to cost him dearly then, it turned out to be a small price in the long run.

How Clinton handled affairs - political or personal - turned out to be such a great system that it infuriated his foes.  There's where the Slick Willy moniker came from, contrary to common belief.

Curiously enough, this did not always stop Clinton from failing at one of the suggested lessons Golf Digest said Obama could learn from Tiger: the danger of looking ridiculous.

For his and his family's sake, hopefully Tiger is able to again able to demonstrate this skill that he has mastered in his entire public life.