I like Jason Sobel as a writer.  I really like Jason Sobel as a blogger during Grand Slams.  Unfortunately, his latest piece, regarding L’affaire Tiger, is so self serving it is forcing me to stay up past my bedtime to respond.

Basically, Sobel is urging Tiger to speak up:

Woods should hold a news conference sooner rather than later to tell his story, answer each question and volunteer every little detail -- no matter how tawdry or mundane these facts may be.

Because:

For every minute that passes without a single word from Woods, he is committing irreparable damage to his image. If he never goes public with the details of these circumstances, the whispers and innuendo will remain throughout his career, forever erasing the squeaky-clean likeness he has built since first joining the PGA Tour in 1996.

If there were any indiscretions at all that contributed to this incident, Woods should go the righteous route, owning up to any ignominy while seeking forgiveness. If he does, there is a chance he could someday be seen as a man of the people. The world may dislike an apologist, but it abhors a liar. For so long, Woods has appeared as some type of golfing android; being involved in a scandal could at least make him seem more lifelike to the masses.

First of all, irreparable damage?  For being accused of having an affair and running his car into a tree?  Not exactly helping Osama Bin Laden hide the weapons of mass destruction. 

Second of all, squeaky-clean likeness?  People don’t follow Tiger because he says his prayers and eats his vitamins.  Or because he is like the masses.  They follow Tiger because he isn’t like John Q. Public, or even like Steve M. Tourguy.  They follow Tiger because he wins.  A lot.  Over and over. 

Sobel is too close to the situation.  He is a golf writer/reporter of some importance.  Part of the job requirement is to think of Tiger Woods in some fashion every day.  I love golf, love to play golf, love to watch golf, and I don’t think about Tiger Woods every day.  And if a medium golf nut such as I isn’t thinking about Tiger every day, the world Sobel is referring to certainly isn’t. 

For the sake of argument, let’s assume Tiger is to ‘come clean’ in his next press conference.  There are three credible scenarios of what has happened in Tiger’s world since Thanksgiving:

Everything from the Tiger camp is true

Then there is nothing to come clean about.  Tiger got into a minor car accident.

Tiger did not have sex with that woman; Elin doesn’t believe him and tried to give him a cavity-back shampoo

Why would Tiger throw his wife under the bus?  She lost her mind during a stressful time, showed Tiger her best Ingemar Johansson impersonation  and busted out the Escalade windows.  He gets the car repaired, forgives Elin and moves on.

Tiger (to quote famed philosopher Ludacris) has pros in every area code; Elin is tired of it

He should publically state he was unfaithful to his wife, and that all that happened afterward stemmed from his infidelity.  Really?  Forget for a moment about the exposure this would cause Tiger for any divorce proceedings (I bet Tiger’s boy Michael Jordan isn’t letting him forget that little nugget of information), go ask how an unsolicited admission is working for (at the time I am writing this) South Carolina governor Mark Sanford. 

Tiger, unlike Sanford, isn’t an elected official.  No one is asking Tiger to make decisions for them, therefore making his ability to keep a promise a significant portion of his job description.  What we want Tiger to do is play golf really well.  His morality, or lack thereof, doesn’t affect what the white ball with the swoosh does from 218 yards.  If anyone cares if he developed his special brand of Gatorade not to replenish fluids lost on the golf course, but at the Four Seasons afterwards, it is only for personal curiosity and titillation.  And that, unlike what Sobel writes, isn’t a good enough reason.