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Around SBN: More Televised Winter Baseball, Please

Could Chrissy Evert Be the Suzanne Dorn of the Presidents Cup?

We told you last week that Greg Norman and Chrissy Evert were taking a trip to Splitsville after just fifteen, vomit-inducing, absurdly fake months.  (I mean, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian's marriage is more legitimate.) 

But, in the post on the Norman-Evert split, we speculated that Evert was just the latest victim of those untamable Normans.  First, it was Morgan-Leigh with Sergio Garcia.  Perhaps now, it was Norman dumping Evert.

If that's the case, then perhaps Evert might be looking for some revenge.  I mean, she is supposedly not going to be at Harding Park this weekend, but then again, Suzanne Dorn wasn't supposed to be at the bar that night that she picked up Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn and rocked his world in an anonymous tryst - that is, until the morning dawn.

Can't you just imagine a dolled-up Evert strolling into some bar in the Union Square district, finding a lonely Adam Scott sitting at a bar stool, downing $200 shots of cognac?  Maybe she butters him up a bit, plays to his heart, and lures him to bed.


Suzanne Dorn: Mind if I join you?
Rick Vaughn: I don't think I'm very good company, right now.
Suzanne Dorn: Why not?
Rick Vaughn: The job I guess. I'm uh, a ball player.
Suzanne Dorn: That's not why I'm here. I don't chase ball players.
[Leans over to Vaughn]
Suzanne Dorn: I think you're the sexiest man I have ever layed my eyes on.
Rick Vaughn: [calling the bartender] Check?

Then, in the morning light, Scott sees Evert with her make-up off, puts two and two together (gets five, then gets four on the second try).  Norman finds out what has happened through the grapevine and corners Scott in the team hotel.  When Scott cowers for his life, Norman smiles and tells him to "beat those American f****ers' brains out."

And Scott goes undefeated at the Presidents Cup.

All because of Chris Evert.

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Unbelievable

I can’t believe you went Suzanne Dorn. As I read the headline, I thought, “No, it can’t possibly be a Major League reference, can it?” And there it was.

Well done.

by Double Eagle on Oct 6, 2009 8:36 PM EDT reply actions  

Problem....

…Suzanne Dorn was in disguise…how the heck do you cover up that persimmon faced Evert ? :-)

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Oct 6, 2009 10:33 PM EDT reply actions  

Haha, I don’t know if a lot of makeup can fix that problem

Email me any comments or questions at ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com.

by Ryan Ballengee on Oct 6, 2009 11:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

And Scott goes undefeated at the Presidents Cup.

This is the least probable event in the entire story. He couldn’t finish in the top 25 in last week’s glorified Nationwide Tour event after opening with 68.

Norman should make Scott the assistant captain and send Frank Nobilo out to play.

by MattSpence on Oct 7, 2009 7:44 AM EDT reply actions  

LMAO ! now there’s an idea !

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Oct 7, 2009 9:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

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