Robert Allenby vs. Anthony Kim: How to REALLY Settle This

We all know about the hullabaloo following the Presidents Cup match between crybaby Robert Allenby and purported 20-something drunkard Anthony Kim.  After a very staged apology press release from the PGA Tour, it seemed like everything had been smoothed over (::eye roll::).

Well, now we're going to get Allenby-Kim II.  We're going to get it tomorrow at the Volvo World Match Play Championship.

Now, when Anthony Kim pasted Allenby at Harding Park, he supposedly did so after spending the night out in San Francisco til about 4am.  Clearly, AK had to have been hungover because no one stays out til 4am unless they're drinking.  Or, at least that's why Allenby believes.  That leap o' faith probably made Allenby all the more angry that he couldn't putt his way out of a liquor-bottle-filled paper bag to beat Kim.

In part deux, though, seems like the only way to settle this is to have them play drunk.  Both of them.  Liquor 'em up before the round and send them out there.  To make it scientific and fair, we'll have breathalyzers there to make sure that Allenby and Kim have the same Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) before they play.

It will be the WORST match that you've ever seen, except if you ever had to watch your little kid play in a junior golf tournament.  But, you know what?  It'll be entertaining and only fair.