Rick Reilly, You Do NOT Get to Ruin Golf for America

It's bad enough that Rick Reilly weasels his way onto the ABC telecasts of the Open Championship, like he's trying to be some Jack Whittaker or Jim McKay.  (Both of which, he is not.)  But now, NOW he's going to make a movie about golf?  Oh hell no.

From Worst Previews, we get a glimpse into how Reilly will stop at nothing to make sure his dental jokes are pervasive throughout sporting culture. 

Warner Bros has acquired "Missing Links," a golf comedy based on a novel from ESPN's Rick Reilly, with Steve Carell loosely attached to star as a golfer who is craving a better place to play.

Reilly's 1997 comedic novel tells of the group of bumblers who, after playing for years at a run-down municipal golf course in a working-class Boston neighborhood, concoct a series of schemes that they hope will lead to them teeing off at a nearby elite club.

The book is available over at Amazon for $10.  If you love Rick Reilly's humor, then you'll love his book.  But that's where Rick Reilly should stay - in print.  At least, then, the illiterate (functionally or optionally) are excluded from the affected.  But on the big screen with the hilarious Steve Carell to help, Reilly's message will penetrate further into society.  I just can't let that happen.

His movie cannot join the likes of Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore, or Tin Cup.  If produced, it will certainly join the ranks of Caddyshack 2, Happy Gilmore 2 (trust me, it's coming - they're making Boondock Saints 2, people), and other crap golf movies.

So, Steve Carell, I'm begging you: stick to The Office and the occasional romcom, but PLEASE do not star in this film.  No one has begged and pleaded this much since Grover told me not to get to the end of a book because there was a monster at the end of it.  (SPOILER ALERT: The monster was Grover.)