If Tiger did do it and blamed it on Stevie it wouldn’t be the first time. If Tiger didn’t do it and Stevie dropped the bomb that wouldn’t be the first time either. Farting in the fairways, or on the practice tee, maybe a tee box, or anywhere inside the ropes is a favorite pastime among players and caddies. It has never been safe to walk behind Steve in the fairway, and I’m surprised those boom mikes haven’t picked up the passing gas more often. The seven-second delay isn’t available and the mike techs are instructed to place that furry extension directly behind the caddies behind, luckily they are only there for the shot and not transfixed throughout the round.

Just imagine a large group of guys gathering early every morning in a long line, standing about two arms length behind one another. Maybe they are still sipping coffee, probably just finished breakfast, and they are loosening up for a round of golf. There are a lot of strange noises, discreet comments, and wry smiles emanating from the row of tour pros. The gallery in the stands doesn’t get a whiff of what is going on, but those little snickers from the caddies when a player pauses over his practice shot aren’t about swing thoughts or technique, the guy standing in front of him just said hello from his posterior. It happens all the time; you have to be careful who you hit balls next to, some guys are notorious.

I’m not going to mention too many names but Fulton Allem comes to mind. His caddy "Bullet" was always coughing at Fulty’s request to cover up his butt cheeks flapping. Standing on Muirfield’s par three thirteenth one year waiting for the green to clear Allem was a bit distressed and yelled, "Bullet cough for me loudly." Bullet, a veteran caddy, had never heard that request from a pro, needed some explanation, and sauntered over. Fulton explained, Bullet coughed in tune with the flatulence and nobody in the gallery heard a peep. Caddies do come in handy once in awhile.

Stevie could drop bombs in mid stride, and not just a stride or two. He was known for that strong lengthy stride, but he always had some extra propulsion when necessary. The gaseous emissions came in handy when traveling uphill or he wanted to stay in front of the rest of the group. They were usually released early in the round; we had to be serious coming down the stretch. Everybody got a good laugh nothing was discreetly passed along; Stevie was always extremely forceful with his opinion.

Even the meek and mild let loose once in awhile, it’s only human nature, isn’t it? A certain Mormon surprised us both with a posterior utterance. It was the loudest I’d ever heard him speak, and we both had a quick giggle just like little kids. Not everyone raises their leg, or their hand to claim a masterpiece, but there is always a wink and a smile quickly after the cloud clears. If everyone is walking down the fairway together and you see heads turn quickly someone spotted a stunner in the crowd or someone let loose, take your pick.

It’s human nature, sophomoric, but a biological fact everyone has fun with. What better place than the pastoral grounds of the PGA Tour fairways? The Tour cathedral in Ponte Vedra is making too big a deal out of this. I don’t think Tiger had the video pulled, he’s too human. Over the years Hollywood stars, corporate CEO’s, professional athletes, musicians, and golfers haven’t let a little wind affect their game, they have fun with the passing zephyr. Politicians, in my experience and estimation were always the worse, rarely was there any substance, just a lot of hot air. They were harmless innocuous rumblings meant only for a quick sound bite. We paid them no attention.

Arnold Palmer and Don January circled the fairway early one morning waiting for suspended play to resume farting on each other. As they passed each other a leg would rise and you gastric noises emanated from their golf slacks. They laughed like grade schoolers and continued their anal tirades until the horn blew to resume play, then they were all business. Anything can happen in between shots and before the round; the boys are only serious during the shot process.

Larry Rinker kept backing off a shot on par three tee box and looking into the large crowd. I gave it the obligatory "quiet please" routine but after the second time I moseyed over to his side, asked if he needed anything, and was surprised by the answer. "I just had to fart and couldn’t pull the trigger with puckered cheeks. It’s a swing though I’m not used too." I walked off the side of the tee box biting my lip trying not to laugh. After the built up pressure was emitted he hit a fine shot to about eight feet.

It’s natural; it’s actually revered by many players. A well timed, well placed blow can ease the tension and bring a smile to almost anyone’s face in the fairway. We’ve been doing it for years no reason to stop now.

By the way, it was Feherty in Flint’s eighteenth fairway. I got it from a very good source. The two of them are a younger version of Palmer and January. They actually have a competition running during the tournaments. Who said it’s no fun out there on tour? We aren’t that serious.