Move Over, Whizzinator! Meet the Uroclub!

by Ryan Ballengee on Oct 20, 2009 11:29 PM EDT

Remember a few years ago when then-Minnesota Vikings runningback Onterrio Smith was caught in possession of a Whizzinator? You know, the device used to beat drug tests that - according to Wikipedia - consisted of:

[A] kit complete with dried urine and syringe, heater packs (to keep the urine at body temperature), a false penis (available in several skin tones including white, tan, latino, brown, and black) and instruction manual.

Just when you thought that phallic-replica urination novelty devices were a thing of the past, here comes the UROCLUB! (Actually, it came out last year. ::Snicker:: But, the inventor was on ABC's Shark Tank tonight to get an investor.)

A urologist was hearing from his retired Florida patients that they had to pee during their golf rounds. I guess Flomax hadn't been invented yet. Completely emasculated as men, they didn't like having to pee in bushes or port-a-johns on the golf course.

So, Dr. Floyd Seskin responded to this burgeoning market by creating a urine repository poorly diguised as a golf club that holds up to 18 fluid ounces of good ole number one. Take a look for yourself!

There is nothing more discreet about holding a towel over your crotch while staring idly at a golf club that is slowly filling with your urine. Short of not wanting to be confused as a kid toucher, the Uroclub is marginally better than whipping it out and peeing on the tee box.

Why mess with the tried and true tradition of peeing on trees and making crazy 8s to kill time? It's God's bathroom! Use it!

UROCLUB!

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Comments

What ever happened to running into the woods?

At the course I worked at, some of the old guys wouldn’t even bother leaving the tee box. And they wouldn’t even bother turning and facing the other direction. And they weren’t using a UroClub.

Imagine me riding by on my maintenance duties and looking over at the tee and wondering why there’s a guy standing there facing me with his hands on his hips and then putting two and two together as my brain figured out what was happening. Pleasant.

by Double Eagle on Oct 20, 2009 11:40 PM EDT reply actions

Great minds think alike:

It looks like Steph has this angle covered as well:

http://www.weiunderpar.com/post/218607414/best-dumbest-golf-gadgets-potty-putter

by IceCat on Oct 21, 2009 5:40 AM EDT reply actions

Haha, I didn’t know that there was a legit training aid for peeing on the actual john.

Hmm, that sounds really dirty.

Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.

by Ryan Ballengee on Oct 21, 2009 8:41 AM EDT up reply actions

We actually have signs that homeowners put up on their property near some holes telling guys that if they take a leak they will call the cops on them. It’s that bad.

I think I know why – these houses are on the later holes and on a summer day you will see trash cans overflowing with beer cans. For some reason, some guys think that playing 18 is a reason to knock back a twelve-pack or more of beer. Naturally, since alcohol is a diuretic they can’t hold it in. The course does have to mid-round bathrooms, but some guys think that the surrounding neighborhood is fair game to be their toilet.

by Charles Boyer on Oct 21, 2009 8:42 AM EDT reply actions

“Phalic-replica” ?? Hmmm – I’d like to see the medical book or model he used to make THIS particular “phalic replica” – I know I’M not in his league. ;-(

"this ball will fit in that fairway"

by courtgolf on Oct 21, 2009 9:48 AM EDT reply actions

Next someone will come out with a umbrella that has a shower curtain,seat and tp
holder.May have to make the golf bags a little bigger.

by ryansdad on Oct 21, 2009 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

That made me laugh and wince all at the same time.

by Charles Boyer on Oct 21, 2009 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions

Hahahaha, so long as someone can make a buck, right?

Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.

by Ryan Ballengee on Oct 21, 2009 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions

The possibilities

Maybe they could get Peter Kessler to narrate an infomercial.

“The UROCLUB…it’s perfect…”

Or, I bet Jack Hamm is available. Let him stand there with his hands under the towel with a wild look on his face going, “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!”

by Double Eagle on Oct 21, 2009 12:21 PM EDT reply actions

ROFLCOPTER

Find me! Email: ryan@thegolfnewsnet.com, Twitter: http://twitter.com/waggleroomryan, or Facebook: http://facebook.com/waggleroom.

by Ryan Ballengee on Oct 21, 2009 12:33 PM EDT up reply actions

This could be the only place in the world with the audience to get jokes like that. I better go back to the well one more time.

“And nooooow, made of Zolex, it’s the only golf product in the world made for YOUR HAMMER!”

by Double Eagle on Oct 21, 2009 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions

I hope Saturday Night Live or Larry The Cable read this or hear about this.Can you
imagine the fun they could have.

by ryansdad on Oct 21, 2009 12:33 PM EDT reply actions

Club dilemma

So which club do you leave out of the bag to make room for this marvelous invention and stay under the 14-club limit?

by shankmeister on Oct 21, 2009 3:56 PM EDT reply actions

You know what’s gonna happen next… some enterprising golfer is going to use his Uroclub to smuggle beer onto the course… and then his partner is going to get it “accidentally” switched with someone else’s Uroclub…

Hilarity ensues.

Mike Southern
www.ruthlessgolf.com

by Ruthless Mike on Oct 21, 2009 5:18 PM EDT reply actions