"... With a toy squirrel covering his genitals ..."
"... and a golf ball clenched between his buttocks."
Um ... okayyyyyy ...
Right-o, who we're talking about is "serial streaker" Mark Roberts. He's the guy profiled recently in a Golf Magazine article. If you've ever seen "highlights" of a naked guy running across the green at a major golf tournament, there's a good chance it was Mark Roberts.
An article in The Guardian of London reports that Roberts has escaped a court order that would have barred him from attending sporting events:
Mark Roberts, 42, has stripped off at high-profile sporting events including the Ryder Cup, the Uefa and European Cup finals, the Super Bowl in Texas and the Winter Olympics in Italy.
But it was his antics at last year's Open golf championship at Hoylake, Wirral, while the world number one golfer was about to tee off, that landed him in court today.
...
The Asbo would have banned Mr Roberts from displaying his buttocks and genitals in public and from attending public sporting or speaking events.
But the district judge, Nick Sanders, ruled that his behaviour did not warrant such an order.
He said: "What Mr Roberts does may be annoying but, in my opinion, it does not amount to anti-social behaviour."
The author of The Guardian report then dryly noted that Roberts is "unmarried and unemployed."
The Golf Magazine feature about Roberts notes that by his count Roberts has streaked at 449 sporting events in 13 countries. The Q&A includes this, well, Q and A:
Leave it the professionals. (Laughs.) You need to time it right so you don't interfere with the event. Be prepared to spend the night in jail. Don't eat spicy food the night before. Tell your mother you're going to be late home for your tea. And know that it's going to be a day you'll never, ever forget.
There are parts of that reply whose true meaning I don't really want to know.
(Photo: Roberts at the 1995 British Open; credit: Phil Sheldon Library/Golf Magazine)
(Update: Greetings to all of Deadspin's and Dave Barry's readers stopping by. Please check out our homepage while you're here. Thanks for visiting Waggle Room.)
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